Learning to let go and let God: why do we hold on?

This week, we tackle the challenge of holding on and letting go. 

 Ecclesiastes 3:1, 6b (MSG)

There’s an opportune time to do things, a right time for everything on the earth … A right time to hold on and another to let go.” Ecclesiastes 3:1, 6b (MSG)

 Deuteronomy 30:15, 16a NIV

“See, I have placed before you today life and happiness, and death and adversity, in that I am commanding you today to love the Lord your God, to walk in His ways and to keep His commandments, His statutes, and His judgments, so that you may live… Deuteronomy 30:15, 16a NIV

“Life is a balance of holding on and letting go”. Finding that balance is a lifelong challenge.  Another phrase you have probably heard and possibly repeated to yourself or others is, “Let go and let God.” Letting go is, however, easier said than done! It’s easier to hold on, whether it’s to an unfulfilled dream, a long held grudge, hurt feelings, rejection, trauma, old beliefs, old ways of living, outgrown behaviors, long held attitudes that no longer serve us, relationships we have outgrown or are toxic. 

What we hold onto and the associated feelings are obstacles to our mental, physical and spiritual well-being. They may have served us well in the past, when as children we were dependent on others for our survival and had to adapt. As young adults we work to create and develop our lives according to the norms of family and society. As Christians, we are called to discern what is offering us “life” and what is offering us “death” in these times and at this age and stage of our lives.

We often want to avoid it as too challenging, too scary, too hard, too disruptive. It will require too much of us, our time, effort, resources, etc.  Or, if we’re really honest with ourselves, we may like holding on. It somehow feels “good” to hold onto it, whatever it is. We kid ourselves into believing that holding on really isn’t that bad for us. Or, we’ll deal with it later. We must be easy on ourselves as we seek change. 

Letting go, then, can bring us face to face with the issue of forgiveness. Forgiveness requires a lot of us.  It’s a process that takes time, patience and love. Forgiveness is a deliberate and intentional choice. It’s an act of the will and takes commitment. It requires a change of attitude; a reframing of the situation, an acceptance of what is and knowing that forgiveness is not about forgetting. It takes great faith, believing that God will empower us to forgive. 

To raise our awareness of letting go and holding on, we turn to our Lenten spiritual practice of the Daily Examen. 

• Place yourself in God’s presence.
• Give thanks for God’s great love for you. 
• Pray for the grace to understand how God is acting in your life. 
• Review your day — recall specific moments and your feelings at the time.
• Reflect on what you did, said, or thought in those instances. Were you drawing closer to God, or further away? T
• Look toward tomorrow — think of how you might collaborate more effectively with Spirit. Be specific.  
• Conclude with The Lord’s Prayer or a prayer of your own.

Podcast reference/referral on "Letting Go"
https://katebowler.com/podcasts/richard-rohr-learning-to-hold-on-learning-to-let-go/